Chuck vs Clint. There Can be Only One!
July 17th, 2009 by nik
Seriously, total pussy
Now this is a tough guy!
The latest grand debate around the studio these days is who is tougher, Chuck Norris or Clint Eastwood? Our new freelancer Jelani is giving us the hard sell on old Chuck but come on… That guy is a total pussy, a pansie, a mamaluka coiled around his mommy’s leg. Clearly, I’m unabashedly in support of Clint Eastwood. I think Tommy may be too young to know either of these old farts but my suspicion is that Jess is on my side. I can’t even see how you can argue against this, just look at Clint Eastwood. You can scrub pots with that guy’s face. Not just now that he’s old and wiry but even when he was young and well… wiry. When Clint Eastwood gives a bad guy the stare down, you just want to crawl under the seat. When Chuck Norris gives the stare down, well let’s just say he’s like that sad dad that teenagers walk all over like alpha dogs in a hen’s nest. It’s like saying whose cooler Huey Lewis or Morrissey? Oh no, hope I haven’t opened a new debate for next week…
July 17th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
well, of course Nik posted the douchiest picture of Chuck Norris he could find (which, incidentally, was from Dodgeball; a tongue-in-cheek comedy movie). And yes I could not find a picture of Clint Eastwood looking quite that douchy. There was some pics of him looking old and flabby in a swimsuit but that kinda put me off my lunch so I didn’t repost it. But I absolutely do not concede defeat.
To clarify, the debate was based on the sum total Clint Eastwood vs. Chuck Norris persona. So while this includes the (acknowledged) bad-assness of Clint Eastwood in his western era and his Dirty Harry era and so forth, this ALSO includes the many incarnations of Chuck Norris– the Bruce Lee fighting, Walker Texas Ranger-ing, internet LEGEND aspects of the Chuck Norris persona. And there is not a doubt in my mind that internet-legend persona Chuck Norris could completely and unequivocally kick Clint Eastwood’s steely 80 year old ass.
Not to mention that Chuck Norris is actually a trained martial artists. Clint Eastwood mostly just shoots people. Anybody can shoot people. How many people can go toe-to-toe with Bruce Lee???
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/50975/
July 20th, 2009 at 10:43 am
blah blah blah… Norris’s “reputation” is almost entirely based on his film work with Bruce Lee in “Way of the Dragon”, a fight scene in which of course he lost (because that’s what pussies do). I’m sure if it had been a real fight Bruce Lee would have mopped the floor with Mr. Chops. Walker Texas Ranger is a pretty awful show, which hey, is not surprising because once again, that’s what pussies do. Look at Clint’s filmography, he’s been involved in some pretty awesome movies, including ones he directed himself. I’m sure even Clint Eastwood’s 80 year old farts could beat the crap out of Chuck Norris.
July 29th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
hahahahaha!!! Clint Eastwood’s 80 year old farts, eh?
Chuck Norris is an actual real-life black belt Nick. Now, don’t get me wrong, I happen to believe Bruce Lee is one of the baddest mofos to have ever walked this earth…and I am biased in that I believe kung-fu is generally a superior martial art to karate. But, that being said, I would not want to fight a real life black belt. So I would not want to fight real life chuck norris. would you?
I guess we’re gonna have to agree to disagree…Although I think the next topic for debate could be something inspired by Chris G. at your birthday party. We were talking about how bad-ass Bronson was in the DeathWish series. So….for the next blog you could maybe pose the Clint Eastwood vs. Charles Bronson fight…